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Jealousy is cruel as the grave, Solomon states in his ancient book. A grave is a repository of dead things. Anything that jealousy rules, if not already dead, is dying.
The word dysfunctional is thrown around a lot today. Some say that we are all from dysfunctional families, and they question who isn't. Well there will always be degrees. My series of articles involve a type of jealousy that can originate through a severely dysfunctional familial relationship during a child's formative years. To a large degree, every aspect of the dynamics of communication within a family like this is dysfunctional.
Jealousy is a response composed of an integration of impulses, ideas and emotions, mostly unconscious, which strongly influences a persons attitude and behavior. This condition, spoken of in Song of Solomon 8:6, does not refer to healthy jealousy. This afflicted form of watchfulness or careful guarding often manifests in resentful suspicion, perceived rivalry where there is none and offenses taken when none were meant.
A jealous person requires an unreasonable degree of exclusive loyalty because he always feels that his girlfriend cares more about other men than she does about him. A jealous woman is often bitterly hurt by something her husband said to or did for another woman, because she feels that she cannot hold her own among other women, though there may be many physically attractive things about her.
A jealous man secretly and unconsciously does not feel that he can hold or keep any woman, though he may be able to get just about any woman he wants. He is always afraid and it takes very little to wound him. A jealous woman looks for a breach of her sense of propriety because secretly and unconsciously she doesn't really feel that she is perfect enough for a man to really be devoted to her.
Jealous people are tormented by fear, day and night, though they are experienced in suppressing it through laughter and pseudo-normal behavior. They are afraid to feel, afraid to have faith, afraid to trust, afraid to believe. A jealous person has an abnormal way of trying to retain something that they secretly feel they will never really be able to keep, because they never really believed they had it in the first place.
A jealous person spawns all types of self-fulfilling prophecies in their lives because what they think on all the time seems to come to pass. Just about everything that happens, even minute things, appear to be a confirmation of what they feared. Jealousy is a flawed way of thinking. These highly sensitive people have been wounded so deeply that they don't know how to stop feeling inferior, unless they begin to somehow understand what has happened to them.
In Jealousy Part 2, (see link near bottom in one of my posts) I share some of the possible reasons for the development of the harmful jealous response.
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Disclaimer: Nothing in this article is meant as a substitute for psychological treatment. If you suspect that you have a severe recurring or chronic problem, please seek psychological advice. You may need professional medical, mental or psychological care. The information in my article is for life improvement and enhancement. I am an avid reader and researcher with an intense desire to motivate and inspire. As a Christian, I also spend a lot of time daily in prayer and reading the Bible.
